March 2011
2 posts
I’m losing it. Whatever it was. Mostly sleep I think.
December 2010
1 post
I woke up in a strange place on Christmas Eve. I just sat there for hours staring at that knee wall, just waiting for something to come to me. Light cracked in the window, just barely enough to see that it was morning. Empty and lifeless I waited to feel something, anything. I felt a warm body curled up next to me head rested on my chest, one that I’d said possibly 5 real words to that...
November 2010
1 post
I kind of forgot I had a tumblr.
August 2010
3 posts
I could watch the sun come up over the city soon, but I think it would just make me feel terrible about being up this late again. It’s not being awake that really bothers me… it’s being up all night alone again. I hate seeing the sun come through my windows when I’m laying in bed trying to calm myself down enough to fall asleep. The dull orange glow of a streetlight is all...
I just heard a girl in a coffee shop yell out a math equation, so I solved it. That’s how bored I am.
http://grandrapids.craigslist.org/m4w/1890259371.ht... →
This just an ad on craigslist… you know, by some random person… I think it might be part of a new attempt to make their life interesting or something.
July 2010
2 posts
New hobbies that I’m going to take up to meet people… standing in long lines, carrying 1 cigarette and a lighter with me (only 1 so people think I’m super nice to them giving away my last one eventhough I don’t smoke), asking directions even when I don’t need them, looking for my pretend lost dog, and I just fell asleep while typing this. fuck I’m going to...
Its official. My new neighbor is indeed NOT attractive. Lame.
June 2010
4 posts
The other night I watched a cat give birth, kind of. The poor cat was pushing this kitten out for hours, and when it finally did come out it was dead. I didn’t actually witness the birth itself but I did see some steps along the way. When the kitten was just barely poking out and then about half way through and then finally when she was cleaning its lifeless little body. It was sad, but...
I’ve been a fool. Too many times to count.
It doesn’t bother me though, I just pull myself together and walk.
I’ve walked, for a year never knowing where to go.
You might be the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
You might be the worst.
I’ve walked miles and miles, in circles because of you.
You gave me direction, now I’m in a tailspin.
I’ve...
May 2010
2 posts
I’m not sure what just happened in my head, but something clicked, I think I snapped and now I think I might just have to restart.
I thought I lost something, only to realize I never had it.
April 2010
2 posts
“LIFE IS SHORT, BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU SHOULDN’T TRY TO MAKE IT GOOD. WORKING FOR THINGS IS REWARDING. LIVE FAST DIE YOUNG? HOWS ABOUT “LIVE RAD, DIE PROUD” LISTEN TO TOMMYS CHEST - DIE TRYING, DON’T TRY TO DIE. USE GOOD JUDGMENT EVERYONE IS ENTITLED TO PRIVACY, GIVE PEOPLE THAT. ITS EASY TO “NOT GIVE A FUCK” YOUR NOT COOL WHEN YOU DON’T...
This has been a weekend for talking to people I haven’t seen in years. Weird high school reunion type thing where people remember me that I really never thought knew I existed. 3 or 4 hours of conversation with another friend that I haven’t talked to in at least 2 years that felt like we have been talking everyday for the entire duration of that time. Weird.
March 2010
3 posts
I never realized Tiger Woods was such a freak…
There’s a lot of boring shit in there but the goods ones really are good.
“have you ever had a golden shower done to you?”
http://deadspin.com/5496451/joslyn-james-did-not-disappoint-with-her-tiger-sext-messages
http://www.truecrimereport.com/2010/03/weird_teache... →
Sometimes I wonder if I’ve really ever left this place. Nothing ever changes.
Two a.m. on a Wednesday seems so normal anymore.
It’s taken thousands of miles back and forth to realize how great the sun can feel on your skin and how cold the night can be when you’re alone. It’s taken years of sunrises to realize how great it feels to just be alive. It’s taken a few...
February 2010
7 posts
I just fell in love on chatroulette.com. I’m serious, this girl was perfect. Everything I could ever ask for and so much more, too bad she’s from boston and the only way I’ll ever be able to find her ever again is to be on chatroulette everyday from here on out. Thank you for the wonderful hour of delightful conversation and the very delightful webcam… you’re...
Math
It’s not THAT hard. I know math is harder for some people, but if you’re teaching a class, no matter what the class is you should be able to do division… with a calculator. Way to go.
jolenesonny:
alligatorsinnewyorksewers:
onlinejournals:
Being a real person is so fucking hard. Worrying about banks, books, paychecks, car payments, television shows, mesothelioma, politics, the sunday morning cartoons, my front door lock, bus schedules, paper routes, recycling, carpet, what time it is, it’s all so fucking stupid. I wasn’t meant to do this. I was meant to get drunker than...
Strung out and tired. Burnt out and scared, I continue my trek through this life we call college. Something tells me this is normal, but there’s something else asking me why we put ourselves through this. Is time spent stressed out really worth this “education”. I’ll be honest as much as I am learning it’s the things I’m not learning that are stressing me out...
Fucked. Thanks a lot Typography…
stupid internet
January 2010
9 posts
Pandora is kicking some serious ass today, way to go internet.
The harm which is done by credulity in a man is not confined to the fostering of a credulous character in others, and consequent support of false beliefs. Habitual want of care about what I believe leads to habitual want of care in others about the truth of what is told to me. Men speak the truth of one another when each reveres the truth in his own mind and in the other’s mind; but how...
I went 3 entire days without talking to ANYONE. Three entire days without interacting with people… I went out, but for maybe an hour at the most each day and each time for nothing more than some food. Not a single incoming call, not a single text. 12 to 13 hours of sleep a night, only after fighting for hours to try to fall asleep to wake up before 2 o’clock in the afternoon....
“The time, the time, to say goodbye
passed us long ago.
and I would say...”
– Like a Record Player
The Lawrence Arms
and here’s to starting over.
Here’s to giving up.
December 2009
9 posts
Your pain still resides in me, whether there’s contact or not. I will always feel for you. It hurt me to say the things I said. I want you to come to know although I will forever be on your side, some things just need to be stated. Friends are here to tell you when you fuck up. I am your friend, and as we’ve determined… nothing more.
“Understand, that if you’re cold...
Believing gets harder every day. When you’ve asked for so little only to get nothing it’s almost impossible, especially when everyone around you swears things will get better if you just pray. I’ve tried and found nothing. If he is up there (which I still haven’t ruled out) I kind of feel like he is pissed off at me or something. What have I done? Why do I have to feel like...
I care more than I’d like to admit. We’ve heard it 100 times, this is 101. Like a broken record I repeat, and repeat. My heart beats faster every time. Each beat more meaningful than the last. I can let go, but for some strange reason I would rather not. Our conversations are sometimes lost when others become involved or aware. I hope you don’t feel like this ever. Lost and...
quart-o-berry:
Maybe things are not as screwd up as I led myself to believe. Calling twice to inform you of a self-induced panic attack was not the best idea. I use to have this undercontrol,but now my mind is winning again. And I won’t go back to how things were 5 years ago… But my mind keeps going back. Just stop caring, right. Things were always better when I didn’t care.
It was a cold...
“Most people can’t stand being alone because it scares them. Most people don’t like themselves very much, so they surround themselves with constant distractions so they aren’t forced to focus on how fucked and distorted they are. Truth comes from within, but to find it, you gotta clean out all the scary shit you piled in the broom closet of your mind.”- Marc Johnson
and also from the head of Marc...
November 2009
17 posts
I’m having a hard time living up to these expectations. I know you’re proud I’m out and going to school, but let’s face it, I’m not everything you think I am… quit bragging. Without knowing you have successfully made my life ten times harder. I’m not blaming you, but please, just lighten up a little bit.
“People are taking the piss out of you everyday. They butt into your life, take a...”
– Banksy (via pantherhooves)(via missundead) (via redguard) (via brandileeeeee) (via thedeathoftruespirit) (via clintisiceman) (via oldtobegin)
The only difference between vandalism and advertising is a budget.
(via samhumphries)
(via louobedlam)
(via thealuminummonster)
I’ve found the best thing to do when at school is go through everyone else’s music libraries if they have sharing on, sometimes you find the best stuff you forgot existed. Sometimes you find the Evil Dead off-broadway musical? Yeah that’s right… thank you whoever this is.
I haven’t had this much internet activity in a looooooong time.
Dear pretty girl that just walked in,
Hey… Wanna hang… I, I, I mean uh bang?