The other night I watched a cat give birth, kind of. The poor cat was pushing this kitten out for hours, and when it finally did come out it was dead. I didn’t actually witness the birth itself but I did see some steps along the way. When the kitten was just barely poking out and then about half way through and then finally when she was cleaning its lifeless little body. It was sad, but didn’t really bother me since it is all part of life and nature.

I thought a lot about what I had witnessed that night and could only come to the conclusion that I miss you. Where did you go? I don’t know what to do and I’m almost sure you could help. You always had that way about you. There was a sense of humor there that I could never understand being that young. Looking back on it I think you would be so happy with us, all of us. Maybe some more than others, but we’re all doing our thing, the only way we know how.

I can’t tell what exactly it is that bothers me anymore, the fact that I don’t have what I want or that I don’t know what to do about it. I’ve been seriously lost for about a year now, not that I knew where I was before that, but at least I had a better idea.